Friday night, in the woods (NFB)

[demonbelthazor]

Smoking a cigarette, Bel watched the luau at the main campfire from the shadows beside the Koala cabin. He wasn't feeling very social. In fact, he was downright cranky. And worried. Talking to Blair had helped a little, but he was still disconcerted with how easily demon instincts had come back to him. So much for dedicating himself to good.

Throwing down the cigarette butt, he stalked off into the woods to brood alone.


[Locked to she who knows who she is.]

Comments

[demonbelthazor]

Bel walked over to Veronica and crouched down beside her. "How do you like this?" he said. "I came pretty damn close to killing John last night. If Phoebe hadn't knocked him out when she did, I probably would have."

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

"Were you afraid that he would kill you or one of the girls?" Veronica asked.

[demonbelthazor]

"I wasn't afraid," Bel said stiffly.

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

Veronica rolled her eyes. "Was there reason to believe that he would fatally harm someone else?"

[demonbelthazor]

"He might've, yeah," Bel said. "Didn't much care."

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

"You know my dad's a former cop, right?" Veronica asked.

[demonbelthazor]

"What about him?" Bel said.

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

"There's something called due force," Veronica explained. "If an officer in the line of duty has reasonable fear that a perp may fatally harm the officer or any innocent bystanders, the officer is allowed to take steps to keep that from happening."

[demonbelthazor]

"I wanted to kill him," Bel said simply.

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

"Why?"

[demonbelthazor]

"Because he attacked me. Because he hurt Lana and Maia. Because he might have hurt Phoebe. Because he was the enemy."

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

"So you were trying to protect yourself and other people," Veronica said. "That doesn't sound like a bad thing. Why do I get the feeling you're beating yourself up over this?"

[demonbelthazor]

"Aren't you listening?" Bel said. "I could've taken him out with hurting him much. But I wanted to kill him. I even morphed into my demon form to do it."

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

That got Veronica's eyebrows to raise.

"Oh," she said. "That's probably not a good thing."

Yes, she realized how lame that sounded.

[demonbelthazor]

"Yeah," Bel said, standing up and taking a few steps away.

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

Veronica looked up at him. "So you're upset with yourself for losing control?"

[demonbelthazor]

He didn't answer, averting his eyes from her.

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

"Ignoring it isn't going to make it go away," Veronica said. "You have to figure out what triggered it and figure out a way to avoid that in the future."

[demonbelthazor]

"It's what I am!" Bel snarled. "I'm a demon. I'm supposed to kill, not go to school and play nice with others."

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

"It's only half of what you are," Veronica retorted, standing up and putting her hands on her hips. "Half of you is human. You might have been raised to ignore that half, but that doesn't mean it isn't there."

[demonbelthazor]

"Yeah, so I can't be a real demon, but I can't be a real human, either, so what the fuck am I supposed to do?" Bel said, his voice tight with emotion.

[marsheadtilt.livejournal.com]

"What do you want to do?" Veronica asked quietly.

[demonbelthazor]

"I don't know," Bel said, just as quietly.