demonbelthazor | Suite 518/520, Friday all day

Bel sighed and looked around the mostly empty living room. They'd packed up everything and he'd shimmered most of it to storage, some of it to Piper and Veronica's apartment, where he and Phoebe would be staying for awhile until they found a place of their own. What was left was mostly bags they'd carry with them, and the cats, of course, who were being remarkably calm about the whole thing.

He'd changed so much when he had come to this place. He'd been sent to learn to live among humans, and it had worked far too well. Raynor had never expected Belthazor to learn to love and care again. No one had expected him to become the Source of All Evil, except, perhaps, the Seer. He'd turned his back on the Underworld, he'd died, he'd been brought back to life. Not bad for two years.

He thought about everybody who had already left before him -- Angel, Piper, Veronica, Lindsey, Blair, Alanna, Nadia, Cally, and Marie -- and the people he was leaving behind, like Lana, Isabel, Phale and Wilson. And Anders. That was the hardest one of all.

This sucked.

[ooc: door and post are open, of course. This will be Bel's last dorm post. Slight bit of OCD for Phoebe and Anders, who likely won't be able to tag back until afternoon and evening respectively due to work. I believe it's okay for teachers/townies to come to the room to see them off; please ping me if I'm wrong and we'll do a townie post set later in the day.

*wibbles and clings*]

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Anders didn't show any signs of letting go in the immediate future as he sniffled and nodded against her shoulder. "Wish I could go with them. I really, really do."

"Me too," Lana said quietly.

"Not fair, is it?" he asked. "I've gotta stay and finish up here first, or I can't . . ." He trailed off, not wanting to say too much about certain plans he was formulating in case he jinxed them.

Lana nodded. "If I don't finish here I have to go back to Smallville and finish there. Either way I'm not with them."

"Stupid real world," Anders mumbled. "Stupid having to figure out how to exist in it."

"Just not fair," Lana agreed.

"You understand," Anders said. "That helps, knowing that. You know how much they mean to me."

"I do," she said. "I really do. And you can call me or come bang on my door any time. Really any time. Jim might grumble, but he'll understand."

"Everybody's offering to look after me." Anders shook his head, a little embarrassed, but grateful. "I swear, I might have to take all of you up on it before I start to feel better."

"It takes a long time," Lana said honestly. "After Shep left..." She shook her head. "I was just hopeless for ages."

"I remember how I was last year, after Cally broke up with me," Anders replied. "I thought I'd never get over it, but I did. And now . . . well, I know they love me, that's what makes the difference. Makes it harder and easier at the same time, that's the hell of it."

She nodded. "And at least you know that with Bel, you can go see them whenever you want. It's not the same, but it's better than nothing."

"It's definitely better than nothing," agreed Anders, "and it'll save me a hell of a lot of money on portal fare, that's for sure."

He finally let go of her, suddenly aware that she might like to be able to breathe again, and gave her a crooked smile. "It's just the getting used to sleeping alone at night that'll be really tough for a while."

Lana swallowed hard. "That was the worst," she agreed. "I'd offer to help, but Jim would definitely draw the line there," she said lightly.

"No offense, but I'm not exactly looking to you for that kind of comfort," Anders replied as teasingly as he could. "You and I both have people we're already really attached to."

Lana blushed fiercely. "I didn't mean - I meant just sleeping!"

Anders buried his face in his hands. "That's what I meant -- I just didn't . . . it didn't come out right, I'm sorry, my brain's not here today . . ."

"It's okay," she said. "Mine's not either."

"You won't hold it against me, right?" It was a really weak joke, but he tried.

She managed a smile for him. "Oh, that was bad."

"Hey. Cut me some slack, I'm trying here," Anders defended himself, and this time the smile was a little more genuine.

"You'll get through it," Lana said. "And at the end of the school year you guys will be together again."

"Guess that gives me something to work for," Anders conceded, and hugged Lana again. "How come that made so much sense, but I couldn't figure it out for myself?"

"You can't when you're in the middle of it," Lana said. "At least, I never could. Of course, none of mine were coming back, but still..."

Anders bit his lip and just hugged her some more, feeling as if he shouldn't be wallowing so much in his own misery. "Yeah . . . I guess you're right."

Re: Anders

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