demonbelthazor | Hyperion, Saturday Night

Current Mood: drunk

Entry tags:

anders,
bridge,
chris,
demons are big babies when they're sick,
giant frakking q,
hyperion,
isabel,
parker,
phoebe,
phone call,
veronica,
xander

Hyperion, Saturday Night

Bel didn't get sick often, especially since he picked up the nifty insta-healing powers in the Wastelands. But there were a few things that could still knock him off his feet, such as, unfortunately, the common cold. And said cold turned Bel into a whiny, cranky, miserable patient indeed.

Phoebe had gone to the store to buy a bottle of medicine for him. It was the most vile thing he had ever tasted, and living in the Underworld, he had tasted a lot of vile things. But he began to feel a little better, so he figured that more of a good thing was a better thing and chugged the whole bottle.

This could prove to be a biiiiig mistake.

Especially because his cell phone was in easy reach.

[For returned phone calls (hee) and Hyperion inhabitants, and brought to you by the fact that I am sick as a dog and high on NyQuil. NyQuil, NyQuil, NyQuil, we love you, you giant frakking Q!]

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"Uh, actually?" Bridge says. "I know what it's like to fall in the mud and get kicked in the head with a steel-toed boot, does that count?" Ranger training kind of sucked some days, you see.

"Bridge!" Bel said, recognizing the voice from somewhere in the depths of his NyQuil-induced dementia. "How did you get inside my phone?"

"Well," Bridge says. "It's actually very fascinating- on a "complexity per cubic inch" scale, cell phones are some of the most intricate devices people use on a daily basis. Modern digital cell phones can process millions of calculations per second in order to compress and decompress the voice stream, which is how you get me 'in' your phone."

Bel shook the phone. "How do I get you out? What if I can't? What am I going to tell Xander?" He smacked the phone few times to try to knock Bridge out of it.

Okaaaay, weird thunk-thunk-thunking noises coming out of the earpiece. "If I were really stuck in the phone, it'd be the work of an evil monster," Bridge points out.

"Oooh, right," Bel said, eyes wide, not that Bridge could see that. "If I vanquish him, you'll come out of the phone? Will you still be tiny?"

"I'm not sure," Bridge muses. "One of these days I should find out if vanquishing works on our bad guys. Usually we just fight them with our giant robot until they explode."

What? It WORKS!

"What part of the giant robot does the phone become?" Bel said dubiously. "It's a little small. But so are you."

"Hey now, who're you calling *small*?" Bridge frowns at the phone.

"You're in the phone!" Bel said. "The phone is small, so you must be wee to fit in the phone! I'm sure Xander still loves you even if you're small. Size doesn't matter."

"He'd better," Bridge says. "Even though I'm not! Small that is."

"Says the one in the phone," Bel pointed out.

"Here, ask him yourself!" Bridge says as Xander walks in to the room.

"It's Bel. He's claiming I'm small," he tells Xander, handing off the phone.

"Xander's in the phone with you?" Bel said, staring at it.

"How are we defining small here?" is the response. "Because the one you have no way of knowing? You have no way of knowing. And no. Definitely no."

"Oh no, you're wee, too," Bel said. His phone was eating people. It had to be stopped. "How do we make you big again?"

"...We don't? Bridge doesn't do threesomes. No offense."

"But I can't just sit here and let you be like this!" Bel said. "I have to do something to help."

"...I'm pretty sure we can handle it on our own!"

"Well, just let me know if you need any help," Bel said. "I hate to see you guys like this!"

"...You can't see us," Bridge points out. "We're in the phone." He meant to say 'on', really. It's just that the 'in' kinda slipped out instead.

"You know what I mean," Bel said. "Is it OK if I keep you in my pocket until we figure this out? I don't want to drop you."

"No dropping," Bridge agrees. "Dropping is bad."

"Don't worry, I'll take care of you," Bel said seriously. "And I'm sure everyone else here is willing to lend a hand to help you out. Me, Anders, Phoebe, Piper, Veronica, even Angel -- we'll make you big again."

There's a loud snort. "Angel will never, ever, make me big."

Re: Returned Calls

demonbelthazor - 2009-03-22 05:17 (UTC) - Expand

Re: Returned Calls

needsaparrot - 2009-03-22 05:57 (UTC) - Expand

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