demonbelthazor | Bel. Beach. Brooding. ("I'll take things that begin with B for $500, Alex.")

Bel brooded on the dark, empty beach ~~because it seemed the place to go when the roof was already occupied~~.

He missed Phoebe. This was the longest they'd been apart since they'd really been together. It was like missing an arm or something, as corny as that sounded. With her gone, all he really had to talk to were Grissom's bugs, and they didn't talk back. At least not that he knew of. He'd been entertaining notions of racing the cockroaches to get a little extra money to pay off the rest of the stupid library fine. Then again, he had some other ideas on how to manage that. Still, he wondered if he could use Caritas or Spike's Pub for something like that. But only if the cockroaches wouldn't be harmed, because he liked Grissom and didn't want to be on his bad side. Particularly because now he'd seen all Grissom's toys ~~except any that Lady Heather might have given him~~ and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what they could do.

Missing Phoebe aside, he also hated being stuck in the dorms like this. Just about everyone was off with families and loved ones, and he wouldn't admit how jealous he was of that. Most of those who remained hated him, which was his own doing, of course. So any moping about that was stupid. And weird. And disturbing. And very un-demon-like.

Then he'd received a gift, a book from Alanna about a fighting style he wasn't familiar with. The unexpected present put him in a slightly better mood. But not enough to stave off an attack of brooding.

He patted down his jacket, looking for his pack of cigarettes, and found an unfamiliar lump. Reaching into the pocket, he pulled out a small box. For a moment he was worried he hadn't put the promise ring in Phoebe's suitcase, but this was a slightly different box. He opened it up and found a ring and a note he had to squint in the starlight to read: No one else has ever come close to my heart and soul the way you have. I love you always, and that's a promise. Love, Phoebe.

He wondered just how she could love him so much. He didn't deserve it. He was a demon, blah blah blah evil...but true evil was incapable of love, so if he wasn't truly evil, then what was he? If he was the demon he always wanted to be, he would've killed Phoebe and her sisters long ago.

At least Raynor hadn't called him home. Yet. He probably figured that his education was well in hand with Angelus. Ha. Explaining that to Raynor was not something he was looking forward to. That, and lying about the Charmed Ones. Because he would lie. He'd die before he let anyone hurt Phoebe. That was the only thing he was certain of anymore.