demonbelthazor | A bar in LA, Saturday Night (Reply)

Angel used his car to take Bel out to a bar he enjoyed hanging out in.

Yes, he was totally being a guy and showing off his cool convertible.

"This work for you?" Angel asked, when they arrived at a bar that was dark and not too noisy.

	"Sure, looks like a good place," Bel said, looking around.
	Angel grabbed a booth for the both of them. "So how're things going?"
	"You heard about the ghosts, right?" Bel said after ordering a drink. "I had one of them haunting me."
	"Veronica told me," Angel said. He ordered a whisky when the waitress came by. He seemed oblivious to how cute the waitress was. "Didn't tell me about you though."
	"For me it was a girl," Bel said, staring at his drink. "The first person I killed. She wanted me to remember her and what I'd done."
	"How'd that go?" Angel asked, neutrally.
	Bel took a long drink of his beer. He should've ordered something stronger, he decided. "Not well," he finally said. "I wanted to destroy her, do whatever it took to make her go away. But she kept coming back until I finally let her show me a vision of what I did."
	"Those urges are normal," Angel said. "That's what we deal with every day. That you stayed fast, let her show you - that's what counts."
	Bel looked up at Angel. "You didn't choose to be...what you are, did you?" he asked.
	"Which part?" Angel asked. "The vampire, or the soul?"
	"The vampire," Bel said. "The demon."
	Angel nodded. "I did. Darla offered, I said yes."
	"Did you really know what you were getting into?" Bel asked, a little surprised at Angel's answer.
	"I knew it meant freedom," Angel said. He swallowed some of his drink. "The choice was mine."
	"Yeah, me too," Bel admitted. "That's what Claire -- my ghost -- wanted me to remember. I chose to kill her and accept my demon half."
	"How old were you?" Angel asked.
	"Ten," Bel said. "And don't say I didn't know what I was doing. I knew enough about killing then. I could've chosen not to do it and accepted my punishment, but I saved myself instead. And at that moment I decided I would become the strongest, most powerful demon I could be."
	"Was just gonna say that's a hard choice to make," Angel replied.
	"Yeah," Bel said. He finished his beer and flagged down the waitress for something stronger. "I like to pretend I didn't have a choice, but I did. That's what my ghost wanted me to remember."
	"How's that revelation sitting with you?" Angel asked.
	Bel shook his head. "Not good," he said. "You're really the first person I've talked to about it."
	"Fun of having a soul," Angel said, as he signaled for a refill as well. "These things matter to us. But it's good that it hurts. You've got to embrace that."
	"Embrace the pain?" Bel said. "What good is that going to do?"
	"Keep you from doing it again," Angel replied, simply.
	"I don't need knowing what I've done to stop me from doing it again," Bel said.
	"Maybe," Angel shrugged. "But it helps."
	Bel sighed and drained the contents of his second drink. "I wish I could be ~~with~~ more like you," he said when he'd finished.
	"I don't have it all in hand," Angel said. He twisted his glass around on the table. "Every day is some new struggle. I'm not sure I'm doing any of this right."
	"You're doing a better job than me," Bel insisted. "It's been hard without you around. I don't really have anyone to talk to about stuff like this. So I end up doing stuff like trying to beat the crap out of Anakin."
	Angel smirked. "How'd that go?"
	"Kicked his ass," Bel said, grinning. "Almost ripped that stupid braid right off."
	"Good man," Angel said, reaching over to shake his hand. "Though for the record if Rory asks I never said that."
	"Why should she care?" Bel asked, happily accepting the handshake. "Got a thing for him or something?"
	"She doesn't like me fighting with him," Angel said, which had the benefit of being true. "So how're you and Phoebe doing?"
	"Mostly okay," Bel said, signaling the waitress for another drink. "She knows there's things I'm not talking to her about, but...." He shrugged helplessly.
	"I get that," Angel said, with a nod. He finished his drink. "There were things I couldn't talk about with Buffy. Things I still can't."
	"Yeah, but Buffy wasn't an empath," Bel said guiltily. "Phoebe knows there are things bothering me that I won't talk to her about. But she doesn't say anything to me about it to my face; I just hear about it from her sister or Veronica."
	"Ahhh," Angel said. "Yeah, see, that's where it's helpful that I'm stoic. And nobody can read my mind."
	"It's not easy to hide your feelings from an empath," Bel said, shaking his head and giving Angel a meaningful look that he knew would go right over his head. "Anyway, so how have things been around here?"
	"Good," Angel said, possibly too quickly.
	Bel rolled his eyes and gave Angel a not-buying-it-at-all look.
	Angel gave his best puppy dog expression.
	Bel crossed his arms. "Spill it," he said.
	"Remember what I just said about being stoic?"
	"Fine, I'll just have to guess then," Bel said. "So it must be about Logan, how you're still lusting after him, how he won't put out even though you're sheltering him from the big bad world." Nope, there was no jealousy in his voice. None at all.
	That got a glare out of him. "I haven't asked him to and I won't."
	"I'm just kidding," Bel said, hiding his pleasure at Angel's statement. "But that is what's on your mind, right?"
	There was a long pause. "Yes," Angel admitted, signaling for another drink. "But I'm fine. I can handle it."
	Bel ordered another drink as well. "You know you can talk to me," he said -- even if he didn't always like what he was hearing.
	Angel sighed. "Parker wants to send him to Vegas."
	"Why does she want to do that? What does she care about Logan?" Bel asked.
	"Because for some crazy reason Parker thinks I can't make good decisions about Logan while he's around," Angel said. This time his drink went down faster.
	"Maybe she has a point," Bel said, downing his own drink as well. He wasn't harboring any illusions that if Logan was out of the picture, Angel would suddenly notice him, but it would make the jealousy go away. Flagging down the waitress for yet another round of drinks, he added, "This whole arrangement was supposed to be temporary, wasn't it?"
	"Yes. Absolutely." Angel's expression, such as it was, in no way matched the confidence of his words.
	"So...why is he still here?" Bel asked, carefully keeping his voice neutral.
	"It hasn't been that long," Angel said. "He's still getting on his feet. Plus I... may have not mentioned any of that to him."
	"So he thinks this is a permanent arrangement?" No, Bel was not mentally flailing.
	Angel tried to look innocent. "Kinda?"
	"And you let him think that?" Bel asked carefully.
	"I never put any kind of timeline on it one way or another," Angel said.
	Bel desperately wanted a cigarette but this being California, it was against the law. Stupid California. "So this is gonna be an indefinite thing then," he said casually. He shrugged indifferently.
	"I should send him home," Angel said. "I know that. I just don't think it's time yet. 'course it'd be nice if I could get a schedule on when those who help me die horrible deaths, because I'd definitely send his ass home at least a month ahead of that."
	"That's right, everyone close to you dies horribly," Bel said. "Isn't it a little too late to worry about sending people away now?"
	"You're still alive," Angel pointed out.
	"And if the Source catches up with me and I die, is that your fault?"
	"No, but if you moved to LA and died because you were fighting the good fight with me it sure as Hell would be."
	"Is there an opposite to a messiah complex?" Bel said, downing his drink. "Because you've got it. I can take care of myself, you know."
	"Uh, hello?" Angel said, pointing to himself. "Destiny?"
	"You're not the only one with a destiny, you know," Bel said.
	"Logan's destiny free," Angel said, halfway to himself.
	"You consult a few oracles about that?" Bel asked sarcastically. He was beginning to feel the effects of all the alcohol he'd consumed.
	"I know the one he's setting himself up for if he stays here," Angel said. He made a gesture of finality. "That's the only one I care about."
	"So send him away!" Bel said. He wasn't afraid to play the guilt card now. "Or do you want him to die?"
	"Of course I don't want him to die!" Angel snapped. "I - " And wow did the stoic snap into place quickly when he wanted it to.
	"You think he's gonna die if he stays with you, but you won't let him go," Bel accused. "What's up with that? You let Callisto go. You let Buffy go.
	"Yep," Angel said, tersely. He wasn't looking Bel or anyone else in the eye. "So I guess I don't care about him that much."
	"Apparently not," Bel said. "What's so important that you're risking his life, huh?"
	"I'm not!" Angel said. "I'll send him home before that happens."
	"What if it's tonight? Or tomorrow? Or next Thursday?" Bel said. "You don't know when it's gonna be."
	Angel looked guilty at that.
	"You're endangering his life by keeping him around because of how you feel about him," Bel said. "You know that."
	"He needs somebody who believes in him," Angel said. "He needs time to find himself."
	"Is it worth getting him killed?" Bel asked.
	"It's worth him being able to live," Angel replied.
	"He doesn't need you to live," Bel said. "You just want to believe he does to keep him around."
	"He needs to have a life," Angel said. "Which he wouldn't without realizing he's more than his father's son."
	"And you're the only one who can show him that, huh?" Bel said.
	"Know tons of people in Fandom who were offering to try?" Angel retorted.
	"Maybe if he wasn't such a jackass they would've," Bel snapped.
	"He's not a - okay he is a little," Angel said. "But there's more than that."
	"And since you're apparently the only one who can see it, it's worth him dying," Bel said.
	"New topic," Angel finally decided
	"What do you want to talk about then?" Bel said.
	"...I have to think of one too?"
	"It's a rule. If you insist on a topic change, you have to come up with the topic," Bel said.
	Angel drummed his fingers on the table. "So... how 'bout that World Cup?"
	Bel snickered. "Had quite a few people watching it back at school," he said. "Nadia even ran naked through the halls in celebration after Argentina won a game."
	Angel was temporarily lost on that mental image.
	"Yeah, the rest of the school appreciated it, too," Bel said, smirking.
	"Didn't have anybody naked for World Cup here," Angel said, with a tone that filled in the part about that being a shame.
	Bel threw a wadded up napkin at Angel because a low power fireball in public wouldn't do.
	"What?" Angel said, trying to duck and still getting hit on the shoulder anyway. "I'm just saying!"
	"I'll bring Nadia by next time," Bel said. "Then you won't feel left out."
	"Thanks, that'll help the celibacy," Angel replied.
	"Her boyfriend might object," Bel said. "Oh, speaking of boyfriends, not sure how much of the gossip from school you keep up with, but Cally and Anders broke up, and Anders is seeing Conner right now. Don't know if you met him at all before you left. And Cally's been kissing Nadia and Piper, which Lindsey apparently approves of. It's pretty much been a kind of soap opera."
	There was so much going on there, but the part that got Angel's attention was: "Did you say Connor?"
	Bel nodded. "Why, you know him after all?"
	"We didn't meet," Angel said. "But, um, the name stands out. What's he like?"
	"He's an okay kid," Bel said. "Completely denies that Anders is his boyfriend, despite the fact that they make out in public at the drop of a hat. I got pissed off at him when he went out on a date with Marie -- that's Willow's roommate -- without telling her about his relationship with Anders."
	"So he's gay," Angel said. "Huh. What else about him? Any hobbies?" Angel looked hopeful. "Big fan of hockey?"
	"He's into sports, but soccer is more his thing," Bel said. "Why so curious?"
	"Oh," Angel said, looking disappointed. "Well... soccer's nice, I guess. And, uh, no reason. Why's a guy have to have a reason to be curious about things? And who said I'm curious anyway? I'm not. I'm just making conversation."
	"Oookay," Bel said, deciding not to press the issue. "Anyone else you want news about?"
	"Everybody?" Angel said. "It's hard staying in the loop when you're one dimension over."
	"Let's see," Bel said. "Willow's seeing someone who's apparently like a knight where he's from, but she's worried that a team of vampiric hamsters with screwdrivers may attack him; Cordelia flashed me in class; Bridge and Xander were caught looking up porn on the internet; Piper had a conjugal visit with Lindsey; Isabel's seeing this kid Greg who likes to dress up as a girl; Alanna and Faithful were turned into statues for three weeks; and Blair and I have a bet going in sex ed."
	Long pause. "...so same ol' same ol'?"
	"Throw in some jello and demons, and yeah, nothing much has changed," Bel chuckled.
	"Good to know," Angel said. He slapped some money down on the table. "C'mon. Let's go before your girlfriend kills me for keeping you to myself."