Last Night in the Park

[demonbelthazor]

After Cole shimmered them out of Caritas, he had reluctantly taken her to the Arms. She didn't have to be an empath to sense his unhappiness about this, and she didn't want him hurt. However, they had a lot of stuff to talk about, and she wasn't naive enough to believe that they could fix everything within a few minutes.

When they got to her room, she saw the vase of roses waiting on her table. "From you, as well?" she asked him softly. She didn't need an answer to that. There was no one else who would send her flowers.

She placed the vase with the Stargazers and Roses, as well as the rolled up poem, on the bedside table and then walked back out to Cole. She put her arms around him and then they shimmered to the South Attic. She winced slightly. Oh yeah, she would definitely need to do a cleansing in here. The painful words and emotions were thick enough to choke her and that wasn't a good thing. She took the vase of roses from Cole and put them on the bedside table in their bedroom. His letter? She still had that folded and in her pocket. She could tell that she would be re-reading that often in the next few days.

She placed an arm around him, and true to his word, he shimmered them somewhere else where they could talk without being disturbed or being assaulted by painful feelings. He had shimmered them into the woods near the school and she was relieved. She felt bad as she remembered her promise to Kiki, but the necklace around her neck reminded her that she was never alone. Besides, the songs at Carita's, the note, and the look in his eyes assured her that she was in no danger from him.

"I'm sorry I threw a clock at your head," she started lamely.

"I'm sorry you found me like that," he said. "Would you believe I thought she was you? That sounds stupid, I know, but I did. I was kinda out of it from the drugs...."

"You thought she was... me?" Okay, the sting of finding him in bed with another woman eased a little when he said this. "But she didn't even look - wait. Drugs? Cole, what happened?"

"Marty shot me up with tranquilizer darts," he admitted. "They were going after Dru and Darla and wanted me out of the picture, I guess. I was too weak to get to the school so I shimmered to the hotel instead."

Phoebe was all in favor of them going after Dru and Darla, in fact, she would have loved to help.  However, her eyes narrowed. "Marty... shot you? So, if he was shooting at you, why would he have done this set-up tonight?" It was obvious she was going to have to have a talk with her friend. She squeezed his hand as they walked. "I can see drugs making you not see the person who was really there."

"It's kinda fuzzy, but I remember thinking you were with me. I told you I was sorry and I loved you." He frowned. "She was acting like you. Or maybe I just thought she was. I don't know how she even got in the room. But I really thought she was you, I wouldn't have done that with someone else. As for Marty, he told me he had a foolproof way for me to win you back. I said if it worked I wouldn't kill him." He grinned a little. "Is it working?"

Phoebe smiled. "It's certainly looking like we're at least working on it. Still, should probably make him sweat a little." She swallowed. "Cole... about Crowley?"

"He'll marry you over my dead body," Cole growled. "I don't care what you signed. There has to be a way out of it."

Phoebe sighed and looked at him. "We? Have plenty of time to work through this and find a loophole. I'm seventeen and it's not like we're planning the wedding tomorrow. I love you, Cole, more than anything, but if you're going to growl at me and tell me what I am or am not going to do, this won't work." She stroked his face. "Beloved..."

He caught her hand, covering it with his. "You don't expect me to sit here and do nothing about it, do you?"

Phoebe shook her head. "No, I don't, but I do expect you to be patient and have faith in me, okay? I do expect you not to get in his face or provoke him, or allow him to provoke you." She pulled the necklace out from under her shirt. "Cole, I was cruel and allowed you to believe that this necklace was something it's not. I allowed you to think that this was a symbol of the engagement. It's not. The ring is. This? Is from Aziraphale by way of Crowley."

"What about my ring?" Cole said hopefully. "I mean, I gave you that first. Doesn't that mean you couldn't have signed the contract when you were promised to another? It's invalid!"

Phoebe shook her head. "I thought about that, but no, because we didn't have a binding contract when I went to sign with Crowley, it doesn't work like that. I even talked to Aziraphale and James, they agreed." She looked into his face. "Are you willing to listen to me tell you why I did what I did, or our we going to fight with each other again?"

"I understand it, but I don't agree with it," Cole said grumpily. "I'm not letting you give yourself over to an evil demon who isn't me without a fight."

Phoebe sat on the grass underneath a tree. She moved to lean against the trunk. "Sit with me... please?"

He settled down beside her and put his arm around her shoulders. "So what now?" he asked.

She lay her head on his shoulder. "Still... still in love with me?"

"Never stopped," he said sincerely. "Never will."

Some of the tension that she had been carrying around all week finally started easing out of her. "I never stopped loving you, either, Cole. Even... after..." Her voice faltered. "I have a lot I need to tell you, but first of all, I have never EVER had sex with Crowley."

"You didn't?" Cole wondered if he looked as relieved as he felt. "Has he tried anything?"

Phoebe smiled and shook her head. "He's not a monster and has always left it up to me whether we did or not. Choice. It was my choice not to. I let you think I was screwing him because... when the radio reported that, you believed them and it hurt and pricked my temper."

"I shouldn't have assumed," Cole said regretfully. "But Phoebe, don't let yourself be deluded. He's evil and that won't change. He may say the choice is yours but he will trick you. You have to stay away from him."

"Love? Before they left, I spent a great deal of time with Aziraphale and James. Crowley could have tempted me to his bed at any point during this, and he never has. Yes, he's evil, and he takes great delight in proclaiming it. But it is much more fun for him if I come to him begging me to take him and making that choice. I said no and he never tried to change my mind. I'll be honest, when that weirdness happened a few weeks ago when I thought you came to destroy my mind and whomever it was called me Piper, I did end up in his bed... but not like you are thinking."

"How do you know he didn't plan that?" Cole protested. "I'm sure if you asked him he'd say no. He lies, Phoebe. Who else would've done it?"

"He doesn't want me dead, Cole, that I am sure of. I am no good to him dead. He caught me before I jumped that night. I don't think it was him and I know it wasn't you. I think... I think it was another demon."

"He could've arranged it precisely so he could rescue you and earn your trust," Cole said suspiciously. "I don't trust him, and neither should you." He held up a hand. "Don't bother defending him to me, Phoebe. You're blinded to what he's capable of, but I'm not. I've seen his true form. I know what he's capable of. If you want to believe he's just looking after you, I guess I can't change that. But I don't want to hear how wonderful he is to you. This is hard enough to deal with as it is."

Phoebe looked down, trying not to let him see what she was thinking. "Cole... it's not just my life he's saved. He's saved Kiki."

Cole stood up and started pacing under the tree. "Stop...just stop, okay? I don't want to hear about what he's done because I think you're wrong. He's done nothing to prove he has good intentions to me. And I don't think anything you say can change my mind about that. He's got you fooled. You're so damn naive, Phoebe! You want to see goodness everywhere but there are some places where you just won't find it."

Phoebe flinched and dropped her head. "Everyone keeps telling me the same thing about you, but I'm here aren't I? I still believe in you. I don't like some of things you want to do, but that doesn't mean there is no goodness in you. Everyone has Grace in them somewhere." She ran a hand along the grass and then stood up. "Maybe I should go, I'm just upsetting you again. I'm sorry."

"Am I supposed to like that you're enjoying the company of someone who's tormented me?" Cole asked incredulously. "Do you really expect that? Honestly? I won't hurt you. He will. We're not the same, not at all."

"You won't hurt me! The monster you want to bring back will. You won't kill me, but Angelus will... as well as several of my friends," she reminded him. She let her head fall back against the tree. "Am I supposed to like the fact that you want to do something that will end up with the deaths of a lot of people... including ones I care about?"

"I already told you why I need to do that," Cole muttered, looking away. "Do you want me to turn my back on a friend who needs me?"

"No more than you want me to," she said softly. "Crowley can't hurt me, Aziraphale saw to that. Angelus will kill me, and Piper, and Paige and Kiki and a whole lot more people, Cole. He'll kill Veronica. I'm sorry, but I will do everything I can to stop that. And, you do remember why he had this happen to him in the first place, right?" She swallowed. "Besides, how do you know he'll be the same if he comes back? How do you know he won't force you to choose? You don't, because he will."

Cole shook his head and threw up his hands. "Fine. I can't change your mind and I'll stop trying. Are you going to still stay with him?"

"Cole, let me ask you a question, and don't get any angrier than you are. Because I do want to work things out, but you keep acting like my duty and my promises are less than yours are." She went up to him and put her hand on his shoulder. "You succeed in bringing him back. He wants you to choose between the witches and him... he wants you to choose between him and I. Can you make such a choice?" She swallowed.

"I choose you," he said with no hesitation. "I won't let him hurt you."

She had tears in her eyes.

"Now, him or my sisters?"

"I told you I'd protect Piper," he said. "But I barely know Paige, and what I've seen hasn't been good. But she's no threat."

"Cole, I love you more than my own life, but I need to know, why did you make such a promise to him, knowing what he would do if you succeed?"

"I made the promise at the beginning of school, before the stuff with Kitty even went down," Cole said. "He told me what had happened to him before and asked me to make sure to undo it if it happened again."

Phoebe felt a tear slide down her face. "You'd do anything to protect someone you cared about, correct?"

"I'd die to protect you," Cole said, reaching out to wipe away her tear.

"I'd die to protect you, too, Cole. I promised you I would do anything and everything to that end, and I will." She leaned into his hand. "I love you so very much, and I have to be true to how I feel inside."

"So where does that leave us now?" Cole asked softly.

Phoebe moved close to him and wrapped her arms around him. "I don't know," she said miserably as more tears slid down her face. "Are we strong enough to do this, Cole? Are we strong enough to try to work back to the way we were? I love you so much and I miss holding you, talking to you."

"I've missed you, too," he said, cupping her face in his hands and gently wiping the tears away with his thumbs. "I want to be with you again."

"I want my soulmate in my life again... I want my friend back." She choked back tears. "Even if we fail at making it back to where we were, I cannot stand not having you in my life."

"I'm right here," Cole said. "I'm not going anywhere without you."

"Promise."

"I promise," he said solemnly.

Phoebe tightened her hold on him. "Neither your friends or my friends are going to be happy that we want to work things out."

"I don't have any friends," Cole said. "But yours -- they'll call you stupid. Insane even."

"You do so have friends," she said softly. "And, I've been called a lot worse as of late."

"I have you," Cole said. "Some of the teachers are pretty cool. But do I have anyone I can call and hang with? No. Not since they made Angelus go away."

"Camu-- okay, he's not so much a fan of yours right now. CJ and Geoff? Apparently Marty is trying to be your friend."

"Teachers are different," he said. "I don't have any real friends in the student body. Marty's just trying to save his own skin."

"Lana and Shep," she argued.

"They don't know what I am and what I do."

"Soulmate? Lana has a very good idea of what you are and so does Shep. She told me Friday and Friday night that she felt you and I just fit."

"And if they let on that they're friends with me they'll be called stupid and insane, too."

"Somehow, I doubt they'll take that lightly." She hid her face in his chest because what she was about to tell him was going to make her blush. "I...uhm... I sang about you to Lana a lot on Saturday."

Cole raised an eyebrow and looked down at her. "What did you say to her?"

She mumbled into his chest. It sounded suspiciously like "Jesus Christ Superstar and Cats".

"Translation?" he asked, confused. "What does that mean?"

Phoebe sighed, and started to sing softly, thankful that only Cole could hear her.

"There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Now my heart is dead and gone.

It was here I talked of love forever.
Here it was they lit the flame.
Here they sang about 'tomorrow'
And tomorrow never came.

There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.

Phantom faces at the window.
Phantom shadows on the floor.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my love will meet no more...

Phoebe buried her face in his chest again. "That was the first one," she mumbled.

He tilted her face up. "What does it mean to you?" he asked.

"Until tonight at Carita's it meant that I was empty inside."

"And now you aren't?"

Phoebe looked at him seriously. "I don't feel empty anymore. Bruised, sore, worried... but not empty. My heart..." She blushed and tried to hide her face again.

"Your heart what, sweetheart?" he asked, stroking her hair.

"Isn'tmissinganymore" she mumbled. "I sang a lot about you," she confessed. "None of them were as hurtful as what you heard me sing."

"I didn't mean to scare you with what I sang," Cole said. "I...wasn't myself."

"I believe you," she said softly. "I think part of me might have realized that later. Thing is... if you did feel that way, I couldn't blame you."

"Let's not talk about that," Cole said abruptly. "No point in dwelling on the past and a stupid spell."

"Anyway, Lana and I talked a lot about you sang a lot about you and Shep and it was nice to talk to someone without being judged for how I feel."

Cole nodded. "I can see how that might be nice." He glanced upward at the sky. "It's getting late...we should go home."

Phoebe bit her lip and then looked up into his face. "Am I going to wake up tomorrow and find this was all a dream, or worse, and we're back to cutting each other again?"

"Not if you don't want to," Cole said, lowering his head to give her a gentle kiss.

"I hate it when we fight," she said softly, kissing him just as gently.

"Let's go home and make up then," he said with a sly grin.

Phoebe laughed. "I love you. I don't where we go from here, but I love you and I'll try, okay?"

"Okay," he murmured. "Do you need to get anything from the Hotel?"

Phoebe shook her head. "I still have half of my stuff in the dorms... "

"Let's go then. The kittens will be overjoyed."

"Next on Oprah..."

Cole grinned and hugged Phoebe close and shimmered them to the attic.


[OOC: Played out by email because the muns had to sleep last night.]

Comments

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

[OOC but IC: Aw.... And Lana would totally stand up for Bel. She's a leetle bit stubborn about things like that.]

[sensethevisions]

Phoebe stayed in the attic until Cole fell asleep. She leaned against the wall and then rubbed her head. This place hurt. The emotions that had spilled out in here the last few weeks. After she was sure he was sleeping deeply, she quietly left the attic.

The headache was turning into a magical migraine and she knew she should go to the Arms and get something for her head. But she didn't want to go there right now. She didn't want to go to the hotel in this condition.

She found herself walking in the woods again with a great deal of information going through her head. Cole was determined to prove to her that he loved her and that he wanted her back. However, he wouldn't let her talk about Crowley and she couldn't get him to change his mind about Angelus.

She sighed, and made herself cmfortable under a tree to watch the sun come up.

When had life become such a soap opera?

[kikidelivers.livejournal.com]

[OOC...I think. Loophole: Kiki gets Crowley drunk and drags him off to the mainland for a shotgun wedding, and since she'd be his first wife, it would be illegal - under human law, anyway - for him to marry Phoebe, thus she's free. Then Kiki can just get her marriage annulled on the basis of the fact that's she's FIFTEEN. *snicker*

Meanwhile, Kiki slaps her mun repeatedly for having sadistic ideas like this.]

[sensethevisions]

[[OOC... Kiki and Phoebe run off and get married, open a gateway and....]]

[kikidelivers.livejournal.com]

[ooc: :D Even better!]

[sensethevisions]

[[OOC: Poor Crowley and Bel...]]

[allie-cameron.livejournal.com]

[ooc but ic: Allie likes Bel... she'll be his friend :)]