The Mighty Belthazor

Bel stared.

"You two cast a spell on me?" he said quietly.

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"I did," Phoebe lied softly, not wanting to get Anders or Savannah in trouble. "I thought that if you... that you would be more at ease with us and expressing yourself... and..." Phoebe closed her eyes. "I'm sorry."

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Anders didn't want to get Savannah in trouble, but he wasn't about to let Phoebe take all the heat for it, either.

"It was my idea, though," he said miserably. "I'm the one who wanted to know so bad. I talked her into it, and . . . it's my fault, okay?"

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Bel pulled away and got up from the bed, stalking across the room and pulling on some clothes. "I can't believe this," he muttered.

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Phoebe had tears in her eyes.

"Cole... I'm sorry. I didn't know you were going to talk to everyone about how you felt. You've been so tense and..." She swallowed. "I thought it would help if you relaxed and talked to us more about... about stuff."

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Anders buried his face in his hands. "Didn't mean for you to go and embarrass yourself," he protested. "I just got tired of . . . look, I was being selfish, okay? This wasn't what I wanted to happen!"

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"I thought the days of people making me do things I didn't want to do were behind me when I left the Underworld," Bel snapped. He didn't mean to sound so harsh, but he was pretty overwhelmed with confusion at the moment.

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Phoebe felt like she had been slapped and her face went pale. "I didn't mean to make you feel like that..." That thought hadn't even occurred to her and it just made her feel even worse. "I'm sorry," she choked out.

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Anders wanted to throw up, himself. "It's my fault," he repeated, which was difficult when his throat was getting so tight, and oh hell, he was going to cry any second now, wasn't he?

"Not what I meant to -- we didn't think."

And sure enough, there were a couple of telltale drops of moisture on the pillow now.

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"I need to get out of here," Bel said, shaking his head. He gave the two of them a last conflicted look, then shimmered out of the room.

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Phoebe watched him leave and then buried her face in her hands, crying.

She hadn't meant to hurt him like that.

"We hurt him..."

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Anders wrapped his arms around her. "We frakked up," he said thickly, crying pretty freely himself by now. "We frakked up bad, Phoebe. We gotta fix this . . . what are we gonna do?"

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Phoebe buried her head in his shoulder as she cried. "I didn't think. I should have been more responsible than this." She swallowed. "I never thought that it would make him feel like when he was in the Underworld."

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"I didn't think about anything other than wanting to hear him tell me he cared about me," Anders half-mumbled. "He's gotta know we didn't mean to hurt him, doesn't he?"

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"I don't know if he realizes that right now, Anders. He's so upset and... we betrayed that trust."

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"We were asking for it . . . not what we planned to do, but we were asking for it and --" Something horrible occurred to Anders. "Oh gods, what if he goes to Angel over this?"

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That was enough to make Phoebe feel even sicker than she already did about this.

"We'd deserve it," she said miserably.

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"I'm sorry I talked you into this," Anders told her, although he couldn't disagree with them deserving it. "If it wasn't for me being stupid and insecure . . ."

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Phoebe shook her head. "I could have told you no. I should have told you no." She sniffled.

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"I should have known better," Anders countered. "What the hell are we gonna do?"

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"You are going to go find him and talk to him. I am going to ~~hide~~ figure out something. I'm the witch and I should have known better." She shook her head. "We are going to let him think that I did the spell so Savannah doesn't get an angry demon at her door."

The fact that Cole was going to think badly of her for this made her sick inside, but better than him getting mad at a child.

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Anders nodded. "Yeah. 'kay, I can . . . I can do that. Love you," he said hoarsely. "And I'm really, really sorry."

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"Love you, too," she whispered. "And stop apologizing. If he had been willing to tell you, you wouldn't have felt desperate enough to talk to me about a spell in the first place." She shook her head, trying to fight back the tears. "Go find him. He'll... he'll probably talk to you easier right now."

And wow did admitting that to herself hurt.

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Yeah . . . hearing it from her hurt like hell, too.

"Two days in a row where waking up wasn't fun," Anders said half to himself as he gave her one more hug before climbing out of bed to get dressed. "Promise I won't let it be three. I swear."

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