Wednesday night, the roof

[demonbelthazor]

Bel was feeling decidedly broody. It was finally starting to sink in that he'd officially betrayed the Underworld. Not like he hadn't before, but now it wasn't a secret. Which meant that it wouldn't be long before Raynor sent someone to kill him or drag him back to the Underworld to face the Source. There were people here who would help him, but he didn't want to be responsible for harm coming to them because of him.

And he'd killed his mother. Not by his own hand, but close enough.

So he went to the place where brooders go: the roof.


[ooc: Open for interaction. So bored it's made me emo.]

Comments

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"What will you do?" she asks quietly. "You can't think we'll just sit back and let them take you or kill you without a fight?"

[demonbelthazor]

"I could run," he said. "Make them chase me, shimmer between dimensions...."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"For how long? And who would be there to stand by you when you finally couldn't shimmer even one more time? There are people here who can help you - not just kids."

She let out a deep breath, "Please, Bel. Let us help in any way we can."

[demonbelthazor]

"I don't want anyone getting hurt because of me, Lana. I have enough blood on my hands," Bel said. "My mother -- she threatened you. Other demons will do the same."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Me?" Lana said, feeling quite startled, "Why? I'm not, I... what would I matter?"

[demonbelthazor]

"Because you came to visit me," Bel said. "She saw you go to the station and assumed that's why you were there."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana rolled her eyes. "Well, she's dead, so I'm not very worried about her. And as for other demons..." she shrugged. "The way I understand it they don't need a reason to go after someone. I'm in no more or less danger than some random eprson in their way would be."

"I won't just abandon you," she said softly but with great feeling.

[demonbelthazor]

"No, you're in more danger because of me," Bel said. "My mother told me you're a tie to my humanity. She may be gone but there are other demons who are going to know that the people who are closest to me are the ones to target."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Bel," she said with a rueful look. "You don't get it. I don't *have* anyone else. You and Phoebe and Kiki... Maybe three people back home. There's no one else who gives a damn about me. So... what? I'm going to just walk away, 'cause you say my life could be in danger? What the hell is my life worth, then?"

[demonbelthazor]

"I'm not telling you to walk away," Bel said. He looked out into the darkness. "I'm saying I may walk away."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana shrugged. "You'll do what you have to do. But if you don't plan to take Phoebe with you when you walk, you might as well kill her before you go. Right now... she won't make it without you."

[demonbelthazor]

"She's stronger than she thinks," Bel said. "And she's gotta learn to be stronger. I'm not...always going to be there."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana looked back up at the stars. "No one stays forever."

[demonbelthazor]

Bel nodded. "Yeah. No sense in getting comfortable somewhere when you can't stay."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Might just as well say, make every place a home, find what love you can, because time is short everywhere."

[demonbelthazor]

"That's a nice sentiment," Bel said, "but not when your love is deadly."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

She wanted to hug him, but was afraid he wouldn't be happy about that, so she crossed her arms in front of her to keep from doing anything rash. "Your love's not deadly, Bel. I wish I could find a way to convince you."

[demonbelthazor]

"It almost got Phoebe killed," he said softly. "And the people who came to help her, any of them could've died."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

Lana nods. "I know. But they chose to do what they did. And none of them would have blamed you for their death."

[demonbelthazor]

"Maybe they wouldn't have, but others would," Bel said. "Do you think of Veronica had gotten killed walking in there like she did, that Logan wouldn't have blamed me? Or if something had happened to Angel, Callisto wouldn't have had a few choice words? They were there because I asked them to be there, so if anything had happened...."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"You *asked*. They *chose* to come." She shrugged. "People always have choice words when a loved one dies, regardless of how it happens."

She sighed. "But I don't want you to think I don't understand where you're coming from and I'd probably feel the same way if I were you. Just... people care about you, Bel. They really do. And that's something too precious to just walk away from."

[demonbelthazor]

"I've never had people care about me before," Bel said. "Back home I was pretty much constantly mocked because of my human blood."

[lovelylana.livejournal.com]

"Funny. Angel said almost the same thing when he nearly died. Not about the human part, but about the never having people who cared about him."

Lana turned back to lean on the railing and stared out over the town. "Better get used to it. Oh, and while you're thinking about how leaving would keep Phoebe and the others safe and start worrying about how much more guilty you'd feel at what would happen to them when they went looking for you."

She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Just how much trouble do you think a human actively searching for demons could get into?"

[demonbelthazor]

"Not fair," Bel muttered. "She's going to be in danger because of what she is whether I'm here or not."


[ooc: Must sleep! Slowplay tomorrow?]

[sensethevisions]

[[OOC: *has best BFF Ever!!*]]